1) I resolve to not be upset because I’m not wildly famous, or actually even mildly famous. This just means that—unlike some people—I can get out of a limo half dressed, and the paparazzi don’t snap my picture, and put it up on the internet for millions of people to see. Forget the fact that I don’t ride in limos or go out in public without my underwear—still it’s a plus that unfamous people don’t have to worry about such things.
2) I resolve to make and mail out the 2,000 flyers my editor wants me to send to teachers, asking them to “invite Janette Rallison to your school for a writer visit!”
Do they make envelopes with chocolate flavored adhesive? Note to self: Buy the self sealing kind.
3) I resolve to occasionally get dressed before I’ve made myself fulfill my writing quota for the day. As I was writing this, a salesman came to the door, and I look like a homeless person in bright red reindeer pajamas. Note to self: Start sleeping in jeans.
4) I resolve to cook dinner before I’ve made myself fulfill my writing quota for the day. Note to self, buy more Hamburger Helper.
5) I resolve to come up with more original tag lines for my novels. I think my characters are getting tired of drawing their eyebrows together.
6) I resolve to thoroughly learn how to use a comma so my copy editor will stop pulling her hair out–ha, ha, like that will ever happen!
6) I resolve to become wildly famous. I can handle it. I know where to keep my underwear.
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Janette! You should have a keyboard alert when you write seriously funny things, in case someone happens to do the wrong thing and drink something while reading your blog.
Fortunately, I wasn’t drinking anything. Sleep in jeans? A marvelous idea!
Lol, no underwear?!?!? No way!
Question: Is there anywhere for me to get an autograph from you? Like, could I give you my address, and you send me an autographed sticker of some sort? Sorry if this is on your web page somewhere, but I am too lazy to look… :o)
I wasn’t sure whether to reply on your blog or mine–but sure. Email me your address at rallison1 at cox.net and I’ll be happy to send you something.
Impressive resolutions! So funny. (But real, I’m sure!)
I’m with ya on the jeans to bed thing…as I write this in fluffy slippers.
Wait a minute! Are you trying to tell me you *aren’t* wildly famous??? I know this isn’t true; every state I’ve been in has a barnes and noble and in every barnes and noble, I have found your book happily displayed face out. Besides, your books are on my top ten picks of the year and I know my opinion to be a valid and desirable thing! And I vote for sleeping in jeans.
Janette, loved your resolutions. I’m fairly certain you’re psychotic.
Here’s mine: Sell a book in the national market and write 150,000 words. And eat lots of cheese and watch lots of football.
Well, it’s always good to have some goals you know you’re sure to achieve. That’s why I always resolve to keep the Almond Joy factories up and running.
Thanks! I will do that now. firstname.lastname@example.org right? Thanks again!!!