New year’s writing resolutions

1) I resolve to not be upset because I’m not wildly famous, or actually even mildly famous. This just means that—unlike some people—I can get out of a limo half dressed, and the paparazzi don’t snap my picture, and put it up on the internet for millions of people to see. Forget the fact that I don’t ride in limos or go out in public without my underwear—still it’s a plus that unfamous people don’t have to worry about such things.

2) I resolve to make and mail out the 2,000 flyers my editor wants me to send to teachers, asking them to “invite Janette Rallison to your school for a writer visit!”

Do they make envelopes with chocolate flavored adhesive? Note to self: Buy the self sealing kind.

3) I resolve to occasionally get dressed before I’ve made myself fulfill my writing quota for the day. As I was writing this, a salesman came to the door, and I look like a homeless person in bright red reindeer pajamas. Note to self: Start sleeping in jeans.

4) I resolve to cook dinner before I’ve made myself fulfill my writing quota for the day. Note to self, buy more Hamburger Helper.

5) I resolve to come up with more original tag lines for my novels. I think my characters are getting tired of drawing their eyebrows together.

6) I resolve to thoroughly learn how to use a comma so my copy editor will stop pulling her hair out–ha, ha, like that will ever happen!

6) I resolve to become wildly famous. I can handle it. I know where to keep my underwear.


New year’s writing resolutions — 8 Comments

  1. Janette! You should have a keyboard alert when you write seriously funny things, in case someone happens to do the wrong thing and drink something while reading your blog.

    Fortunately, I wasn’t drinking anything. Sleep in jeans? A marvelous idea!

  2. Lol, no underwear?!?!? No way!

    Question: Is there anywhere for me to get an autograph from you? Like, could I give you my address, and you send me an autographed sticker of some sort? Sorry if this is on your web page somewhere, but I am too lazy to look… :o)

  3. Wait a minute! Are you trying to tell me you *aren’t* wildly famous??? I know this isn’t true; every state I’ve been in has a barnes and noble and in every barnes and noble, I have found your book happily displayed face out. Besides, your books are on my top ten picks of the year and I know my opinion to be a valid and desirable thing! And I vote for sleeping in jeans.

  4. Janette, loved your resolutions. I’m fairly certain you’re psychotic.

    Here’s mine: Sell a book in the national market and write 150,000 words. And eat lots of cheese and watch lots of football.

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