New year’s writing resolutions

1) I resolve to not be upset because I’m not wildly famous, or actually even mildly famous. This just means that—unlike some people—I can get out of a limo half dressed, and the paparazzi don’t snap my picture, and put it up on the internet for millions of people to see. Forget the fact that I don’t ride in limos or go out in public without my underwear—still it’s a plus that unfamous people don’t have to worry about such things.

2) I resolve to make and mail out the 2,000 flyers my editor wants me to send to teachers, asking them to “invite Janette Rallison to your school for a writer visit!”

Do they make envelopes with chocolate flavored adhesive? Note to self: Buy the self sealing kind.

3) I resolve to occasionally get dressed before I’ve made myself fulfill my writing quota for the day. As I was writing this, a salesman came to the door, and I look like a homeless person in bright red reindeer pajamas. Note to self: Start sleeping in jeans.

4) I resolve to cook dinner before I’ve made myself fulfill my writing quota for the day. Note to self, buy more Hamburger Helper.

5) I resolve to come up with more original tag lines for my novels. I think my characters are getting tired of drawing their eyebrows together.

6) I resolve to thoroughly learn how to use a comma so my copy editor will stop pulling her hair out–ha, ha, like that will ever happen!

6) I resolve to become wildly famous. I can handle it. I know where to keep my underwear.