My first book signing happened a few months after I’d given birth to 13 pounds of twins. So beforehand, I went shopping to find a magical dress that would hide the fact that I still looked like I was carrying around an undisclosed child in my stomach.
I still remember the sales clerk’s reaction when I told her about the event. She looked at me dreamily and said, “I’ve always wanted to do a book signing.”
I’ve thought about that statement several times over the years. During some signings, I wish I’d taken her name and number and hired her to do mine for me.
Because yes, some of them really are that bad. Once only one person walked into the bookstore during the entire signing. (On the bright side, I did sell him a book, so in that regard it was my only 100% successful signing.) Another time the bookstore obviously forgot I was coming. They’d done no advertising and just set me up in a chair in the corner of the store and ignored me. And I’ll never forget the time I brought a pen with golden ink so my signature would be distinctive. It was distinctive all right. It leaked all over the books.
If you have a bucket list with Do a Book Signing written on it, let me save you some trouble. Choose a store, set up a table, and sit there for an hour or two while people rush by you avoiding eye contact. Then cross book signing right off your bucket list.
That said, I’ll be doing two book signings in the next week. Yes, actually I am a glutton for punishment, why do you ask? (No, I’m just joking about that. Both places I’m signing are awesome, or trust me, I wouldn’t have agreed to it.)
Friday, May 4th 5:00-6:30 p.m.
The Provo Marriott Hotel
101 West 100 North
Provo, Utah 84601
A ton of other authors will be there too. Literally, a ton. Although none as wonderful as me, so don’t you dare go stand in their lines first. Just saying . . .
Monday, May 7th at 7:00
Changing Hands Bookstore
6428 S McClintock Dr.
Tempe, AZ 85283
Authors Shelley Coriell and Amy Dominy will also be there. Changing Hands is promoting us as Funny Girlz, so one of us should do something amusing. I’m voting for Shelley, because she’s a new author and therefore should be subjected to hazing.