One of my funniest romcoms is now available on ebook—Yes!

What the Doctor Ordered: A Sweet Small Town Romantic Comedy by [Janette Rallison, CJ Hill]

I’ve always said that choosing a favorite book is like choosing a favorite child. (Although on some days, I can tell you who my favorite child isn’t.) But What the Doctor Ordered is one of my favorites.

An eccentric elderly aunt just provides a lot of comedy.

Also, fun fact, I originally based the heroine on myself and the hero on my husband. I thought it would be a romantic gesture.

Sadly, I had to fire my husband from my romance after about four days. My husband is a peacemaker and just wouldn’t argue with the heroine. This is actually a good quality in real life. Not so much in fiction.

I’m not saying that I’ve done everything the heroine does in this book, but I did work at the front desk of a resort once and did try to check someone in to a grounds shed.

Hey, I got a lot of material from my own life.

Anyway, I got the rights back to the story and updated it and now you can read about romance with a hot doctor. (So much better than doctors in real life.)

Here’s the link to buy on Amazon or read for free in KU

Matchmaking gone awry

They’ve never been out on a date. They can barely speak a civil word to each other when they find themselves in the same room. But Aunt Bertie, who is not crazy, just—eccentric—knows that John and Ellie belong together, and she’s doing all she can to further their cause.

This wouldn’t be so bad if Ellie could just avoid John. But no. Of course not. She works with his sister.

Ellie needs a doctor to assure her parents that Aunt Bertie can live on her own and doesn’t need to be sent to a nursing home.

Should be easy, but John—Dr. Flynn—is making it anything but.

He’s arrogant, handsome, and oh-so-infuriating.

He also might just be perfect for Ellie.

This sweet, small-town romantic comedy has plenty of heart and lots of laughs. Snatch it up today!

Here’s the link to buy on Amazon or read for free in KU

New release! (Well, sort of, anyway.)

Over the years, I’ve written three police romantic comedy novellas. To tell you the truth, I always meant to write another one and put all of them in a compilation. However, I’ve also always meant to keep my dresser cleared off and that hasn’t happened either. Sometimes, I’m just a mess ‘o disappointments.

So, I finally put the three together into a compilation and it’s available on Amazon. Woot!

To buy or read for free on Kindle Unlimited click here

Hot policemen? Yes, please.

If you like romantic suspense with a twist of humor, these three novellas are for you!

Paisley Spencer’s phone dies at the worst time—right when she’s lost in a bad part of Phoenix. She ventures into an all-night liquor store to ask for directions, and when she returns to her car, three thugs are waiting for her. She has to rely on the mercy of a handsome stranger to escape, but he’s keeping secrets that will lead her into even more trouble.

Lydia Robinson is an undercover cop posing as a prostitute in a sting operation. It’s not a horrible job. Well, at least not until her ex-boyfriend from high school shows up. Yeah, there are certain times when you don’t want to be spotted on a street corner in hooker clothes, especially if you can’t explain yourself.

What’s worse, her ex wants to save her from a life of crime, and he’s willing to kidnap her to do it.

Bethany Smith didn’t mean to become a criminal. She especially didn’t mean to break into anyone’s house wearing only her underwear. Long story. Worst Valentine’s Day ever.

But the arresting officer is so handsome, well, maybe it won’t be the worst Valentine’s Day after all.

If you love romantic suspense with a large dash of humor and heart, you’ll love these three sweet, happily ever after, novellas! Read them today!

To buy or read for free on Kindle Unlimited click here

 

Some great clean romcoms

When Ben Shepherd asked me to recommend five books in a specific category, the first thing that came to my mind was a list of clean romcoms with embarrassing moments. Why did my mind go there? Probably because misery loves company. In so many ways, my life has just been a series of metaphorically falling-down-the-escalator moments.

There’s probably a better way to live life–one that involves being observant and not impulsive, but yeah, I’m still not going to live like that.

Anyway, you can find my list of five great romcoms that show how embarrassing moments can lead to a hot guy (and other lists) here: This should be the link. Second times a charm and all that

The Cowboy and the Girl Next Door is released!

I always feel so weird telling people that my book has been released. It sort of makes me feel like my book was kept locked in a basement somewhere.

But anyway, it’s out in the world now and you can get it here Click for the Best Cowboy Romance Ever

or read on Kindle Unlimited. And please, please review!

She won’t lose the ranch without a fight, even if it means fighting him.

Kate Benton has wanted nothing to do with ranchers since she was fifteen and too-hot-for-his-own-good Landon Wyle caught her kissing his little brother during a cattle drive.

Yep, that event pretty much put an end to a lot of things, like her dignity.

But when her grandfather dies, he leaves his ranch to her with one provision: she has to live on Coyote Glen and keep it profitable for a year.

Kate is used to the finer things in life, such as sleeping in past the crack of dawn and fingernails that aren’t broken.

Mucking stables, fixing fences, and avoiding being trampled by angry cows isn’t exactly how she imagined spending the next year, but her family needs the land.

She’s in over her head. However, the man who can best help—Landon—is second in line to inherit if she fails.

And he’s only gotten more handsome. Of course.

Losing the ranch is bad enough, she refuses to fall for the man who wants to take Coyote Glen from her.

Landon’s brothers depend on him to keep their ranch and their family together. To succeed, he’s thrown himself into his work—and ok, maybe he’s avoided relationships. He needs the wells on Coyote Glen to keep his own ranch running and can’t afford to let Kate’s beautiful green eyes distract him.

If he loses his heart to her, he loses everything.

The Cowboy and the Girl Next Door is the first novel of a sweet, feel-good, laugh-out-loud romantic comedy series. If you like heroines with sass and hardworking men who look great in denim, you’ll love this swoon-worthy novel!

We believe in happily ever after, so no cliffhangers are allowed on our ranch.

Click here to read The Cowboy and the Girl Next Door

The Fairy Godmother series free until the 24th

I decided that one way to deal with the Godmothered situation is to get my series out to more people, so I’m making all three books free for three days. Here are the descriptions and the links.

An incompetent fairy godmother. What could go wrong?

Some girls steal their sister’s clothes. Savannah’s sister steals her boyfriend. Yea, that was a really bad day.

After such a dramatic breakup, Savannah needs a true prince–and fast, because the prom is only weeks away.

But looking for love can be a Grimm experience.

Enter Chrissy (Chrysanthemum) Everstar: Savannah’s gum-chewing, cell phone–carrying, high heel-wearing Fair Godmother. Showing why she’s only Fair―because she’s not a very good fairy student―Chrissy sends Savannah back in time to the Middle Ages, first as Cinderella, then as Snow White.

Being a fairy-tale princess is so not what it’s cracked up to be.

Finally, Chrissy sends Tristan, a cute guy in Savannah’s class, to the Middle Ages to turn him into her prom-worthy prince.

He and Savannah must team up to defeat a troll, a dragon, and the mysterious and undeniably sexy Black Knight.

Laughs abound in this clever fairy tale twist from a master of romantic comedy. Start this bingeworthy series today!

Click here to get My Fair Godmother free!

Be careful what you wish for—at least when your fairy godmother is in training.

Tansy Miller has always felt that her divorced father has never had enough time for her. But mistakenly getting caught on the wrong side of the law wasn’t exactly how she wanted to get his attention.

That trip down to the prison was really not her best moment.

Enter Chrysanthemum “Chrissy” Everstar, Tansy’s all-too-teenage fairy godmother. Chrissy is still training, so Tansy’s three wishes don’t exactly go according to plan.

And if mistakenly bringing Robin Hood to the twenty-first century isn’t bad enough for Tansy, being transported back to the Middle Ages to deal with Rumpelstiltskin certainly is.

That fairy tale is so much creepier when it’s happening to you.

Tansy will need the help of her blended family, her wits, and especially the cute police chief’s son to stop the gold-spinning story from spinning wildly out of control.

With romance, magic, and suspense, My Unfair Godmother is the sort of laugh-out-loud, feel-good fairy tale that both teen girls and their mothers will love. (In other words, hide it from your daughter until you’re finished…)

Click here to get My Unfair Godmother for free

A fairy godmother can be a dangerous thing.

Some people bomb singing auditions. Sadie throws up on live TV during hers. So yeah, there’s no way she’ll ever be able to face strangers again, let alone the people at her high school.

Her performance on America’s Top Talent is so bad it earns her a fairy godmother through the Magical Alliance’s Pitiful Damsel Outreach Program. Enter Chrissy (Chrysanthemum) Everstar: Sadie’s gum-chewing, cell phone–carrying, high heel-wearing fairy godmother to save the day—or perhaps make it even more horrible.

Wishes are, after all, unpredictable things.

Sadie finds herself thrown back in time to be first the Little Mermaid and then one of the Twelve Dancing Princesses. Wishes are permanent, and if Sadie wants to get back to her home, she’ll have to strike a magical bargain—one that involves stealing a goblet from a powerful fairy queen.

Worse yet, Sadie has competition from a handsome thief with an invisibility cloak. He may not only steal the goblet, he may make off with her heart too.

This laugh-out-loud fairy tale retelling combines romance, suspense, and magical twists that will make readers wish they had their own fairy godmother. (Or at least the hot guy in the story. Don’t accept a fairy godmother. Just don’t.)

Click here to get My Fairly Dangerous Godmother for free

Godmothered vs My Fair Godmother

I admit I put off watching the movie Godmothered, because I knew after I watched it I was going to feel sick. And who wants to ruin a perfectly good night? But my husband finally insisted we watch it.

Anyway, I thought I would list the similarities I noticed between Disney’s movie and my series. It’s been years since I read the last two books, so I may be missing some things. (And I know Disney read My Fair Godmother because it was pitched to them more than once.)

The premise of my series involves Chrysanthemum (Chrissy) Everstar, a young blonde, slightly ditzy, slightly incompetent fairy godmother wannabe who’s been going to school to learn to be a fairy godmother and whose biggest goal is to become a real fairy godmother.

Ditto for Godmothered.  (But Chrissy has more sass than Eleanor.)

Chrissy goes to modern-day “damsels in distress“ who don’t believe in fairy godmothers and question their sanity when they meet her.

Ditto for Godmothered.

The role of magic is discussed: Do people still believe and need it?

Ditto.

My Fair Godmother has a dark-haired, handsome man named Prince Hugh.

Godmothered has a dark-haired, handsome man named Hugh Prince.

My Fairly Dangerous Godmother has a teen girl character who has an amazing voice but is so nervous when she sings in front of people that she projectile vomits. She gains confidence during the novel and sings her big number perfectly at the end of the novel.

Godmothered has a teen girl character who has an amazing voice but is so nervous when she sings in front of people that she projectile vomits. She gains confidence during the movie and sings her big number perfectly at the end of the movie.

In My Fair Godmother, the main character’s sister’s name is Jane

In Godmothered, the main character’s daughter’s name is Jane.

In my Unfair Godmother, since Chrissy hasn’t become a real fairy godmother yet, she’s been forced to take a part-time job as a tooth fairy, something that is beneath her.

In Godmothered, when the fairies discuss not being able to become fairy godmothers, they worry that they’ll end up having to become tooth fairies instead.

In My Fair Godmother, Chrissy whips up a ball gown for the character when the character doesn’t want it. It’s sort of a running joke in the series.

In Godmothered, Eleanor whips up a ball gown for a character when she doesn’t want it.

In My Fair Godmother, most of Chrissy’s magical help just makes matters worse.

In Godmothered, most of Eleanor’s magical help just makes matters worse.

In my series, it’s clear that Chrissy is helping out her charges because of self-interest–to help her become a real fairy godmother, and her charges call her out for it.

In Godmothered, it’s clear that Eleanor is helping out her charges because of self-interest–to help her become a real fairy godmother, and her charge calls her out for it.

In My Fair Godmother, Chrissy can’t find a pumpkin and so turns a squash into a carriage.

In Godmothered, Eleanor doesn’t have a pumpkin and so turns a watermelon into a carriage.

My Fair Godmother has a main character (Chrissy’s assistant, Clover) whose last name is BloomsBottle.

In Godmothered, Eleanor’s last name is BloomingBottom.

In My Unfair Godmother, Chrissy’s assistant is checking to make sure the heroine is presentable in her gown and says, “Your hair is fashionably done. Check. Wearing a stunning gown. I guess so, if that’s the sort of thing you like.”

in Godmothered after Eleanor creates a ball gown for Jane, she says, “Perfect outfit, check.”

In my series, Chrissy’s headmistress was not happy with her assignments.

Ditto for Godmothered.

In My Fairly Dangerous Godmother, one of the main characters is from Hamilton, Ohio.

In Godmothered, Jane goes to Hamilton High.

So coincidence? I think that’s statistically unlikely.
To tell you the truth, I don’t know if these similarities were the writers’ way of nodding to my series’ fans or whether the similarities crept into the screenplay subconsciously because the writers had read my series.

Whatever the case, the result is that studios who may have been interested in my series may now not be interested because my stories will now look like they’re copying Godmothered.

Godmothered differed in a lot of ways from my series. Instead of time traveling to medieval times to relive fairytales, the writers took a page (or more) from Enchanted and revisited a lot of things from that movie: an innocent young woman comes to the cynical big city, doesn’t even know what money is or how relationships work, and the protagonist takes her in out of pity. Woodland creatures help with housework.

I’ll also admit that there were some cute things in the movie. I laughed at the raccoon and the blonde reporter. I didn’t find the end all that satisfying, though, because it seemed to be more of a statement than an ending.

We read and watch stories because we want a happily ever after. If we wanted to be reminded that endings don’t always turn out the way we want, we’d watch the news instead.

Here’s the hard thing for me, though. I’d always planned on writing a fourth Godmother book. It’s partially plotted already. But there’s just something that feels really violating about having your ideas taken this way without any sort of consideration or acknowledgment. (I’m already wondering if someone is going to come out with a TV series about modern teenagers who fight dragons.)

If I tried to write the fourth book now, instead of enjoying spending time with my character and the fairy world I created, I’ll be dealing with those feelings of violation.

So… that book is going to be on hold for a while. Maybe for good.

Cowboy Romance update

Just wanted to let you all know that my book The Cowboy and the Girl Next Door will be available for preorder in a few weeks. (Due out May 1st) And no, that picture isn’t the cover. My author friends and I are currently involved in an epic quest that may involve making our attractive acquaintances pose for pictures next to horses.

Seriously, the world of cowboy photos is bleak.

Surviving 2020

Everyone is a little shaken up this year

I just realized that it’s been a long time since my last blog–and seeing that this is 2020 and I’m in the oldish demographic, some of you (Do people actually read blogs anymore?) may wonder if I’m still alive and writing.

Yes, yes I am.

I’m done with the first draft of the cowboy romance (and waiting for my writers’ group to finish theirs. You’ll love them all!) And I’m 200 pages into a medieval fantasy. So I’m back to researching vague things about the Middle Ages like how they danced. (No one is quite sure. Thanks, history scholars…)

And doing some other stuff that I can’t discuss because…contracts. So it just seems like I haven’t been working because nothing new has come out, but I really am.

I just don’t have anything to show for it except my messy desk.

One day I’ll have time to clean it off…

 

Hot cowboy series–Why you shouldn’t (or maybe should) make decisions at 1:00 a.m.

My writer’s group had finished and a few of us lingered on way past the time we should have gone home. (Just like every month.) This month we were bemoaning the fact that our various books with complicated plots were so hard to write and yet got us no respect from agents/editors/readers.

“We should all just write a series of hot cowboys,” I said. “Readers love hot cowboys.” (Something readers and I have in common.)

“We could have a family of brothers and all write one brother’s story,” someone suggested.

And Melinda–I remember it was her–said, “Okay. Let’s do it.” Then she started planning a trip to Bisbee for the next month so we could all get a start on our stories.

And I was like: Wait, I was just complaining. I didn’t mean to start a new series. 

But of course, I didn’t say that, because I was the one who suggested it in the first place. And besides, it sounded fun.

I knew writing a book where the main characters were ranchers would take research, but all books do, so I wasn’t that concerned because I was going to have my friends there to help me research. We would learn together.

When we got to Bisbee, Melinda announced that her brother worked at a bank and only did the ranch’s books on the weekends–thus getting out of researching things like how to deliver a calf and figuring out when you plant alfalfa. Ruth declared that her brother was a vet. Thus abandoning the other brothers right out of the shoot.

By the way, my brother, Landon, has not forgiven Ethan for abandoning the ranch and only forgives Dillon, Melinda’s brother, because he comes home on weekends and thus can have dialog with my characters for part of the time.

Jaxon, Torsha’s brother, we all agree is the most fun character. Think wise-cracking-playful-scoundrel. I’m not sure why he ends up with all the good lines in everyone’s novels, but he does. We all love Jaxon. My book is the first in the series and I’m a little afraid readers are going to like Jaxon better than Landon.

But anyway, that is why I’m researching subjects like whether you’re supposed to leave bulls in with your herd for year-round breeding (they call it servicing, just in case you want to throw around some rancher lingo) or whether it is better to breed for only a three-month window so you have all your calves in the spring. I spent an entire evening reading the pros and cons about that.

I know about sale barns, feedlots, the benefits of AI, obscure breeds of cattle that are more desert resistant–Criollo. (But none of the ranchers seem to carry them. Don’t ask me why.) the problems with newer model tractors (You can’t fix them yourself because of the computer software and it’s ridiculously expensive to have your tractor towed to a dealer) grazing rates, water pumps, the process of fixing a fence, how much one of those circular bales of hay weighs (800 lbs) and two different ways to castrate bull calves.

And I’ve still only scratched the surface.

I’ve got a lot of details to fill in still. That said, the book is coming along great. I’m almost done with the first draft.

 

A bucket list for my posterity

We all have bucket lists with a lot of dream items.  For example, going to Egypt is on my bucket list. And those sorts of goals are good, but as I was thinking about the subject, I realized that if I was making a list for my posterity, it would have different sorts of goals. So then I made a list for the grandlings and all the other spawn. Here it is. Hopefully you’ve already done a lot of these.

Save a life (by donating blood, or donating money to a humanitarian group, or some other way)

Have a family

Love an animal, even though you know you will lose it

Have you’re heart broken and love again anyway

Be discouraged but continue to do what needs to be done

Develop at least one talent

Create something that wasn’t on the earth until you got here

Help someone–do something for them that they can’t do for themselves

Stand up for something

Go to an art gallery

Listen to a seashell

Wear sequins at least once

Listen to an Italian sing about love

Write a poem

Sing in public

Build a snowman

See the autumn leaves and collect one

Have a white Christmas

Go caroling

Swim in the ocean

Keep a journal—write at least 100 entries

Make a Valentine

Be in a play

Learn a dance

Give a talk in church

Sew something/tie a quilt

Visit the country of your ancestors

Ride a rollercoaster

Go to a formal dance

Ask someone on a date

Watch The Nutcracker

Visit Williamsburg

Visit the Grand Canyon

Visit the Redwood Forest

Visit Arizona and see the Saguaro cactus

Go Skiing

Go sledding

Listen to Pachelbel’s Canon in D

Memorize a hymn

Wish on a star

Ride a horse

Run on the beach

Contemplate whether modern art is really art

Throw a coin in a wishing well

Blow on a dandy lion

Make a dandy lion chain

Make a birthday cake

Watch the good musicals and sing along with their songs

Watch It’s a Wonderful Life

Read all of my books because hey, Grandma/Great Grandma/Great Great Grandma wrote those