In Praise of Men
Men get a bad rap in our society. Granted, statistically they’re responsible for most crime, most wars, and well, pretty much most of all the bad stuff that happens. But that doesn’t mean most of them are bad. I think the opposite is true. Most men are decent people and many of them are incredible, amazing individuals.
I guess I’m just sick of all the men-bashing that goes on. My son showed me the Hugh Mongus video last night. It’s become a viral video. I’ll provide a link below, but basically, a woman is filming a guy, and she asks him his name.
He replies, “Hugh Mongus.”
It’s a joke. I thought he was referring to his weight, but she assumed he was talking about a specific body part (where is her mind?) and then she accused him in a hysterical manner of harassment and abuse. She became the thing she decries–attacking a person simply because of her assumptions and his gender.
Security was called and she continued on with her hysterical accusations until you feel genuinely bad for everyone dealing with her. You also feel bad for everyone who has actually been a victim of harassment and abuse, because her overreaction is tantamount to the boy who cried wolf. People may take real accusations less seriously if they think all women are missile-seeking-targets like this lady.
Youtubers have called her out, and instead of admitting that yes, she overreacted, she went on to produce four videos defending her position and accusing anyone who disagrees with her as being indoctrinated into our rape-culture.
Sigh.
I agree that there are a lot of things wrong with our culture. (Don’t get me started.) But the question I’ve been asking myself since I saw this video is how many bad men did this woman know before she formed her opinions? She couldn’t have known the men I’ve known.
Since last night I’ve thought of my father who was one of the most generous people I know, my husband who is the most patient person I know, and the all the young men I know who work and save and willingly give up two years of their lives to go on missions to serve others. I think of the strangers–all of them men–who’ve stopped to help me when I’ve had flat tires. One of them was a heavily tattooed guy who might have frightened me if I’d met him in a dark alley, but he crawled underneath my van to get my spare tire. (Note to Toyota–that’s a stupid place to put a spare.) I think of a male friend who recently stood up to a thug in order to protect a woman he didn’t know–just because she looked afraid. I think of the men at my church who give up so much of their time to serve people in our congregation–never complaining. I think of my friend’s husband who not only designed this website for me, but who answers all of my technical questions, just because he’s a nice guy. I could go on and on.
I know amazing men; men that I wish I could be more like.
This is me clapping for you–all the awesome men!
And here’s the link: Hugh Mungus video
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Yes! I know so many amazing men too. I’ve actually almost always been treated with respect from the men around me. I’m actually really grateful, too, for a religion that helps the men around me become better people.
Me too. It makes me sad to think that most women aren’t treated with the respect I am.
When my car broke down, and my husband was out of town, the people who stopped to help me were big, tattooed, very scary looking men. The *only* people to stop, after being in the middle of an intersection for a very long time. They helped push my car to the side of the road, then they drove me to my apartment building so I could get to where I needed to be. They didn’t come back later to assault me, even though they knew where I lived and that my husband was gone. They never asked for compensation. Of course, I have met some men who were not the best, just like I know some women who aren’t the best either. But on the whole, the men I know are all generous, loving, supportive people. Heck, my husband even does all the cooking (which confuses everyone who comes over for dinner).
I wish you hadn’t started with
“Granted, statistically they’re responsible for most crime, most wars, and well, pretty much most of all the bad stuff that happens.”
While the first two are true enough taken on their own, they completely miss the point in the same way that “women are responsible for most abortions” misses the point. Since most world leaders are male, it’s a given that most wars are caused by men. Since men are, on average, stronger and larger than women and since most crimes involve use of force, most crimes are caused by men.
The problem isn’t men. The problem is humans willing to do evil things and that’s a problem that isn’t tied to gender. Only. Your opening paragraph kind of makes it seem like you might be saying that it is. So even if “Most men are decent people and many of them are incredible, amazing individuals.” you’re still willing to attribute “pretty much most of all the bad stuff that happens” to the gender as a whole anyway. Your message seems to be that “any given man is probably good but there’s still something wrong with the gender that leads to all the bad stuff that can happen.”
I like your post. I like the support for men as that is rare in our current society. I appreciate it. But I also wish you hadn’t started out with a statement that reinforces the cultural disapprobation of men as a whole or that indicts the whole for the sins of a small subset of its composition.
I said the first part tongue in cheek. And perhaps part of the problem is that I study history and so have run into many more Atilla the Huns, Hitlers, William the Conquerors, etc than I have Cleopatras. (She killed her younger brother and sister to ensure her power. Lovely person.) So really, I meant no offense. And you bring up good points.
Well yeah there were more bloodthirsty men in history. But then, we also have more men in historical records, period. How many women have been in position to start wars in history. It might be interesting to convert to percentages for comparison. Maybe separate epochs to weed out technological advances that make wars more or less likely for a given time period? I don’t suppose you know a history scholar looking for a paper topic?
And thanks for acknowledging the points. 🙂
This would be a really interesting thesis for someone to do. Eleanor of Aquitaine was definitely not a saint, nor was Matilda. And then there was the fighting between Queen Elizabeth and her half-sister. Of course none of them was catapulting decapitated heads at their enemies, like William the Conqueror… Still, it would be an interesting topic. Someone has got to do it.
Great story. And exactly right. I’ve met bad apples from both sexes. I was trying to decide whether I’ve bet more bad women or bad men in my life, but the truth is, I don’t keep track. Most people I’ve met have been good. (And I’m jealous that your husband cooks. Neither of us cooks much anymore.)
You’re awesome. Thank you for this.
You’re definitely on my good list, Jared!
I think it’s ridiculous and disgusting that she is accusing this guy of sexual harassment because he said his name is hugh mongus and then she yells F*** off to the security man. um…sexual harassment!
It’s amazing how blind she is to her own behavior. I mean, she had to be the one who posted the video. Sometimes we’re all apt to misinterpret a situation, but she had the instant replay and still thought she was being harassed and abused.
awesome! LOVE the men in my life. Their examples have shaped who I am and give me confidence in mankind.
Glad you got lots of good ones too!