Truth in advertising, why writers are needed

This morning when I got the strawberries out of the fridge, I noticed that the package said they were “limited edition”.  I hate to disagree with packaging, but how can strawberries be limited editions?   Does this mean I should expect strawberries to disappear from the grocery store shelves soon? The earth made them for a few millennia, but it will be discontinuing them?

Or did the package mean that those particular strawberries won’t be around long? Eat them now before they mold.  If so, doesn’t that go without saying?


It made me think about all the other inaccurate packaging that products use.  For example:

Good and Plenty



Good yes, but only plenty if you have no children. If you have children, they will descend on you as soon as they hear the sound of the box opening and you will end up with only three pieces of candy. Perhaps they should have gone with Good and Adequate If You Don’t Have a Sweet Tooth.
Life cereal.


Who came up with this product name and why?  I’m guessing it’s probably because we all wish our life was like Lucky Charms—full of rainbow marshmallows that are magically delicious—but instead life is actually more like crumbly little squares that aren’t nearly as sweet as we’d like.  It’s life, baby, get used to it.

Hershey’s Kisses

Unfortunately, these kisses are a little too waxy tasting. It makes me wonder who Hershey was kissing. If someone is going to be kissing my lips, I want it to be Lindt. Almond Roca would be acceptable too.

Thin Mints


These have yet to make me thin, although I keep trying.  (You can see this blog has swerved into thoughts on chocolate and will probably not leave. Chocolate. Mmmm.)

Snickers

I love the candy bar but it makes you wonder what other names were tossed out in the marketing meeting before they decided on this one:  Scorns? Scoffs? Disdainful Deriding? General Mockery?


What is this candy bar really trying to say, and does it have anything to do with what people think of your rear end after you eat too many?
Almond Joys


Okay, this packaging has it right.  I’m pretty sure this is what joy actually tastes like.


Suddenly, I have an overwhelming urge to eat chocolate. But anyway, this is just one more example of how writers are clearly needed in the world.

Write on, folks.

Comments

Truth in advertising, why writers are needed — 26 Comments

  1. “Snickers”… the very same query here 🙂 Writers will be so straight forward and obvious that the strategy of marketing i.e fooling people, will not work for manufacturers 🙂

  2. Zahir, yes, I suppose Hershey’s wouldn’t be pleased with my name for their candy: Melted Brown Crayons.

    Dr. Kold, I’ll have to take a rain check on that one for a few years. (Hopefully).

    Debbie, Maybe that was what the snickering was about. Marathon makes it sound like it’s something healthy.

    Ashley, Tiana, MessageForYou, Small Review and Susan, Thanks!

    Janice, my thoughts exactly. I need more fun then a half a bite.

  3. Almond Joy and Snickers are a deception. It’s NOT its name! I don’t understand how people can eat it. Yuck! Now Jolly Ranchers, Kit Kats, M&Ms, and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are GOOD. Also Tagalongs, Samoas, Hershey, and Life cereal (my favorite! Hate Lucky Charms, except for the marshmellows).

  4. True, the marshmallows are the best part. And actually, I like Life, especially the cinnamon kind . . .but still, it has no marshmallows. Reese’s are especially yummy and Take Fives are awesome. Twix are yummy too . . . now I want more chocolate.

  5. Yep. I noticed that whenever I have writer’s block, I start thinking about chocolate. Don’t know what it’s trying to tell me. But-it’s delicious! Gonna go grab some Kisses now……………

  6. mmmmm… chocolate…
    loving your blog, some great humour to brighten a grey day here in france. i too have a serious issue with the concept of hersheys chocolate – where is the attraction of putting something like that in one’s mouth? anyway, when i’m not drooling over snickers bars i do some writing myself. not good, publishable, writing; just wafflings about my life, at ekelav.blogspot.fr

  7. This post is very interesting! It has made my day after reading it. Yeah, I am also wondering why give certain names on such items. However, I started to crave after you gave some of the chocolates as your examples. Maybe I’ll have to ransack my real estate Denver home after work and go straight into my refrigerator and experience joy with Almonds Joy. Thanks for sharing this post!

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