Truth in advertising, why writers are needed

This morning when I got the strawberries out of the fridge, I noticed that the package said they were “limited edition”.  I hate to disagree with packaging, but how can strawberries be limited editions?   Does this mean I should expect strawberries to disappear from the grocery store shelves soon? The earth made them for a few millennia, but it will be discontinuing them?

Or did the package mean that those particular strawberries won’t be around long? Eat them now before they mold.  If so, doesn’t that go without saying?


It made me think about all the other inaccurate packaging that products use.  For example:

Good and Plenty



Good yes, but only plenty if you have no children. If you have children, they will descend on you as soon as they hear the sound of the box opening and you will end up with only three pieces of candy. Perhaps they should have gone with Good and Adequate If You Don’t Have a Sweet Tooth.
Life cereal.


Who came up with this product name and why?  I’m guessing it’s probably because we all wish our life was like Lucky Charms—full of rainbow marshmallows that are magically delicious—but instead life is actually more like crumbly little squares that aren’t nearly as sweet as we’d like.  It’s life, baby, get used to it.

Hershey’s Kisses

Unfortunately, these kisses are a little too waxy tasting. It makes me wonder who Hershey was kissing. If someone is going to be kissing my lips, I want it to be Lindt. Almond Roca would be acceptable too.

Thin Mints


These have yet to make me thin, although I keep trying.  (You can see this blog has swerved into thoughts on chocolate and will probably not leave. Chocolate. Mmmm.)

Snickers

I love the candy bar but it makes you wonder what other names were tossed out in the marketing meeting before they decided on this one:  Scorns? Scoffs? Disdainful Deriding? General Mockery?


What is this candy bar really trying to say, and does it have anything to do with what people think of your rear end after you eat too many?
Almond Joys


Okay, this packaging has it right.  I’m pretty sure this is what joy actually tastes like.


Suddenly, I have an overwhelming urge to eat chocolate. But anyway, this is just one more example of how writers are clearly needed in the world.

Write on, folks.

26 comments

  1. Zahir Shah
    April 23, 2012 at 10:40 pm

    “Snickers”… the very same query here 🙂 Writers will be so straight forward and obvious that the strategy of marketing i.e fooling people, will not work for manufacturers 🙂

  2. Dr. Kold_Kadavr_flatliner, M.D.
    April 24, 2012 at 2:34 am

    God bless you. Meet me in Heaven, k?

  3. Debbie
    April 24, 2012 at 3:35 am

    In the UK, till 1990, the Snickers bar was called Marathon.

  4. Ashley Harward
    April 24, 2012 at 6:04 am

    What a great post to wake up to. Thanks for the laugh.
    🙂

  5. Susan
    April 24, 2012 at 7:39 am

    You make me smile, Janette. Thanks for the snickers (hee hee).

  6. Janice Sperry
    April 24, 2012 at 7:53 am

    And “fun size” are only fun if you can eat the entire bag.

  7. Tiana Smith
    April 24, 2012 at 8:59 am

    LOLOL

  8. Anonymous
    April 24, 2012 at 9:20 am

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  9. MessageForYou
    April 24, 2012 at 11:23 am

    hahahaha so good 😀

  10. Small Review
    April 24, 2012 at 9:08 pm

    Ha, I love it! I don’t have a twitter account, but reading this has made me finally wish I had one so I could tweet your post.

  11. Janette Rallison
    April 24, 2012 at 10:43 pm

    Zahir, yes, I suppose Hershey’s wouldn’t be pleased with my name for their candy: Melted Brown Crayons.

    Dr. Kold, I’ll have to take a rain check on that one for a few years. (Hopefully).

    Debbie, Maybe that was what the snickering was about. Marathon makes it sound like it’s something healthy.

    Ashley, Tiana, MessageForYou, Small Review and Susan, Thanks!

    Janice, my thoughts exactly. I need more fun then a half a bite.

  12. SH
    April 24, 2012 at 11:37 pm

    lovely blog. would be happy if you visit also mine.

  13. Michelle's Style File
    April 24, 2012 at 11:47 pm

    heh heh too true!

    x
    Michelle
    http://www.michellesstylefile.blogspot.com

  14. The Couch Author
    April 25, 2012 at 7:19 am

    Haha..as a person who holds a degree in Advertising I found this post to be quite interesting!

    Very good points!

  15. Janette Rallison
    April 26, 2012 at 10:10 am

    Thanks SH and Michelle,

    The Couch Author, I keep telling people if they want to be a selling author they need a degree in marketing. You were wise to get some knowledge in that area!

  16. A. Johnson
    April 26, 2012 at 10:27 am

    Ah the little illogicalnesses of life. Its good to see little things most don’t notice. My blog tells something similar.If anyone has the time please read!

  17. Cassandra Day
    April 26, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    Almond Joy and Snickers are a deception. It’s NOT its name! I don’t understand how people can eat it. Yuck! Now Jolly Ranchers, Kit Kats, M&Ms, and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are GOOD. Also Tagalongs, Samoas, Hershey, and Life cereal (my favorite! Hate Lucky Charms, except for the marshmellows).

  18. Janette Rallison
    April 27, 2012 at 1:47 am

    True, the marshmallows are the best part. And actually, I like Life, especially the cinnamon kind . . .but still, it has no marshmallows. Reese’s are especially yummy and Take Fives are awesome. Twix are yummy too . . . now I want more chocolate.

  19. Robyn
    April 27, 2012 at 11:18 am

    Life by the bowlfull-Did you see that Mad Men episode?

  20. Ashley Harward
    April 27, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    Just thought you’d like to know- a girl in my ward just finished My Unfair Godmother and was singing its praises on facebook today. She loved it. Good job!

  21. Cassandra Day
    April 27, 2012 at 10:54 pm

    Yep. I noticed that whenever I have writer’s block, I start thinking about chocolate. Don’t know what it’s trying to tell me. But-it’s delicious! Gonna go grab some Kisses now……………

  22. emelia
    April 28, 2012 at 6:43 am

    mmmmm… chocolate…
    loving your blog, some great humour to brighten a grey day here in france. i too have a serious issue with the concept of hersheys chocolate – where is the attraction of putting something like that in one’s mouth? anyway, when i’m not drooling over snickers bars i do some writing myself. not good, publishable, writing; just wafflings about my life, at ekelav.blogspot.fr

  23. Checklist e-Mag
    April 29, 2012 at 11:13 am

    A Look At Ladybug Crystal Pendant Necklace.
    Nice posts and a wonderful way to paste the pictures. They are so natural.

  24. Cyra
    May 1, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    This post is very interesting! It has made my day after reading it. Yeah, I am also wondering why give certain names on such items. However, I started to crave after you gave some of the chocolates as your examples. Maybe I’ll have to ransack my real estate Denver home after work and go straight into my refrigerator and experience joy with Almonds Joy. Thanks for sharing this post!

  25. Happy Kid City
    May 6, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    Loved this post. Thanks for the laugh!

  26. ceramic
    June 10, 2012 at 5:54 am

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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