In which Janette begs for romance–wait, will that title get me blocked in filters?

When I was a teenager I used to love to read romances. Seriously, I was a Harlequin addict. I thought men were supposed to be tall, dark, and brooding. Now I have stacks of YA books to read (have to keep current on the genre) and a stack of books my friends have written (because my friends are cool) and, oh yeah, I’m supposed to be writing books not reading them.

Still, I love romance. I miss romance. I don’t read contemporary romances because most of them are hot enough that they singe your eyebrows right off when you read them. But the other day I wanted a nice, mindless romance. A hot guy and witty banter.

A couple of months ago I picked up an inspirational romance. There was plenty of inspiration, a lot of information about the shipping industry, but no discernible romance. I don’t think the characters ever kissed. They just went out and helped the poor then decided to get married at the end.

I felt cheated.

The next time I picked up a regency romance. (Not yours, Sarah Eden, this was before I got a stash of yours.) I figured it wouldn’t be too steamy in the regency era as they had chaperons and what not. (I know, I know, stop laughing at me.)

I’m not sure how steamy it was because I had to stop reading before I got that far. The writing was bad but the writer made up for it by throwing in lots of exclamation points. After saving the heroine from the advances of another man, we read:
The duke’s eyes softened for a moment then regained their habitual gallantry. (Really? Whose point of view are we in? If we’re in hers—and we must be because he can’t see his own eyes, how does she know they’re habitually gallant? She’s just met him.)

She asks, “You know my name, sir?”

And he says, “Indeed I do, fair creature! May I lead you in?”

Fair creature? Did men ever talk that way? I’m imagining my husband coming home from work and saying, “How was the day, fair creature?” Nope. It just doesn’t work in dialogue.

So I figure I can’t just pick up any old romance book. I’m either too picky or too prudish for them. Still, eventually I’ll be done the sequel to My Fair Godmother. (I’m about 3/4 the way done and I’m supposed to be done by next week.) I’ll want a romance. In fact, I’ll want many. Tell me your favorite.