Since when did Christmas trees start doubling as snack bars? How food obsessed are we as a nation that we think strips of raw meet are a good decorating medium?
Okay, enough talk about obesity. In the last week, I have eaten far too many sugar cookies, gingerbread men, and brownies to get up on a soapbox about junk food. (And okay, I did just buy a cupcake ornament–but it was cute.)
Speaking of Christmas decorations, here’s a two-story tall blow up Santa. Nothing will thrill junior quite as much as a Santa the same size as King Kong. I mean, that’s not going to cause any nightmares. The reason Santa knows when you’re sleeping and knows when you’re awake is because he can look right into your bedroom window. And he does . . .
What do you get the person who has everything? How about a horse head mask? I mean, how many times have you been walking around your house wishing you could slip into something a little more equine? I love how the horse looks startled–like he’s just watched the decapitated horse head scene from the Godfather.
Sometimes I think certain gift ideas must have come about after drunken parties in the marketing department. Marketeers were clearly trying to outdo each other by finding the absolutely stupidest objects they could make people in third world sweatshops produce. This mounted squirrel head (only 24.95) is not only sold by Wireless, it’s on the cover of their catalog. Yep, the flagship of gifts, the hot item this year–a fake, dead, half a squirrel. Personally, I’d expect a real, dead, half a squirrel for that much money.
Just kidding! Lest I get angry comments about my inhumanity toward fake or real squirrels, let me emphasize that I love animals as much as the next person–in fact, arguably more, since I have so many cats I have been accused on more than one occasion of hoarding them. (The strays come and refuse to leave. It’s really not my fault.) However, even I–animal lover that I am–found these next shirts creepy.
Remember the scene from Alien when an alien popped out of somebody’s stomach? Yeah, that’s pretty much the impression you’ll give people if you wear this shirt. And the cat shirt–is it just me or does the cat look like it’s just as horrified by this fashion choice as everyone else?
If you’d like to see past years creepy gifts, you can check them out here: