Ex-boyfriend Stories/ studies

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Okay, first off I’ve had a few questions about when I’m going to put Ex-boyfriend stories on my website. I still have some coming in, so I’ll keep the contest open for two more weeks. Then it will be tell-all time. Bwahaahaahaa!

Now for another of my pointless observations. (I know you’ve come to rely on me for these, but really, my next blog will be on a writing topic.)

I heard a couple of DJs on the radio talking about a study that said parrots were as smart as five year olds. Ha! What this really shows me is that the people who do these studies don’t have children. Okay, granted maybe parrots can learn shapes, colors, and new words. Can they sneak Otter Pops out of the freezer, open them using only nail clippers, and then hide the evidence underneath the couch cushions? Never. Can they identify any product on the shelf with a Dora logo stamped somewhere on it and then using the powers of manipulation and a sweet expression convince adults to buy it for them? I think not. Can a parrot consistently hide the scotch tape so that you will never find it again? Well, I think you get my drift.

I know many five year olds and all of them are smarter than parrots. In fact most of them can operate the t.v. remote better than I can. Studies. Bah!


  1. Candace Salima (LDS Nora Roberts)
    August 13, 2007 at 6:51 am

    Janette, you always delight with your hysterical observations. Always intersperse writing blogs with these. They rock!

    And yes, I have to agree with you on the five-year olds. I swear, they could bring peace to the Middle East with their ability to negotiate. Ah ha! That’s it. Only five-year-olds decide the fate of the world from now on . . . hmmmm, maybe not.

  2. Mads
    August 13, 2007 at 7:22 am

    AHHHHHHHH!!!! Note to self: Send story in soon!!! I keep meaning too, but I need to perfect it still. I hate working– it makes me so busy!

  3. Julie Wright
    August 13, 2007 at 7:29 am

    I’ve met a couple of parrots and aside from training them preset responses, they aren’t capable of all that much. Plus they squawk all the time and can’t clean up their own cages. By the age of five, a child is potty trained. When they can teach a parrot that trick–I might be impressed.

  4. Janette Rallison
    August 13, 2007 at 8:24 am

    Oh, so true–that should have been first on my list!

  5. Anonymous
    August 13, 2007 at 10:26 am

    I don’t remember much about my sisters being five, except that all they wanted to do all day was play Barbies and sing songs they made up.

  6. Annette Lyon
    August 13, 2007 at 2:52 pm

    These scientists most definitely don’t have children. And haven’t spent any decent amount of time around children, either. I’m with Jules–when a parrot gets potty trained, maybe I’ll listen. A bit.

  7. Tamra Norton
    August 14, 2007 at 3:31 pm

    Sounds like you’ve met my five-year-old daughter. Her favorite phrase after saying something is, “just so ya know.” She’s the youngest of seven and I guess she wants to make sure we’re all keeping up with her.

    I’m trying…

  8. Lillian Syville
    August 15, 2007 at 5:18 pm

    I totaly know what you mena. My five-year-old brother put all the outlet covers on the electrical outlets in our livingroom when our backs were turned. When we found him they were all on perfectly

  9. Janette Rallison
    August 15, 2007 at 6:17 pm

    And let’s see a parrot try that!

  10. Josi
    August 15, 2007 at 7:31 pm

    And can a parrot hold their pee for seven hours only to lose it at the grocery store? Can they whine an entire sentence or put toothpaste in their brother’s hair before blaming it on the cat?

  11. Enna Isilee
    August 16, 2007 at 8:43 pm

    Oi. I have a five year old brother.

    I’d rather have a parrot.

  12. Janette Rallison
    August 17, 2007 at 9:07 am

    Come to think of it, on many days parrots would be easier. Like today–because parrots never lose their tennis shoes thus making themselves late for kindergarten.

  13. Kimberley Griffiths Little
    August 17, 2007 at 1:31 pm

    Hilarious, Janette – as always! (And the comments are funny, too!)

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