My teens think having parents is embarrassing. We wear the wrong clothes. We’re old. we don’t get weird Youtube vines. Yadda yadda. They have no idea what embarrassment really is.
These are things that my teens actually said at the restaurant this morning.
Hostess as we walk in: Five adults? There’s no one under ten?
Thirteen-year-old daughter: No, I’m too old to pass for ten now.
Which implies that we used to sneak her into places as a child when she wasn’t. We have never done this. Not once. I’m the mom who is always encouraging her kids to be honest with little lectures such as, “How much is your good character worth?”
Nineteen-year-old son when he discovers the bill on the table: Hurry we can still sneak out!
Um, again, we’ve never done that. I’m beginning to wonder if I should let my children out of the house by themselves as apparently they’re living nefarious double lives.
Thirteen-year-old daughter thirty seconds later: Mom, you should have tipped our last waitress. She was really nice.
Which is why I did tip her, and every other waiter or waitress who has ever waited on me. I add the tip to the credit card bill, but apparently my daughter has thought I’ve just stiffed servers for years, and she only thought to bring the subject up right then in front of a restaurant full of people.
So the next time either of these two children think I’ve embarrassed them in public, I’m going to refer them to this blog.