New Year’s resolutions, revised

Every year I make New Year’s resolutions, and every year I break them. In fact, my usual tradition with my New Year’s resolutions seems to be that around June I get them out and laugh at my naive optimism. So this year, I’m taking my resolutions and doing what writers do best–revising them

 1) Exercise more. Hide the treats better. Maybe I’ll forget where I put them.

 2) Stick to a budget. Resist buying more Christmas cards and wrapping paper, even if they are 75% off right now.

 3) Have a family dinner every night. Cook something once in awhile that requires more work than slitting open the top of the package and programming the microwave.

 4) Declutter the house. Put a moratorium on the stray cats my children keep collecting. Ditto for those pesky stuffed animals that appear like furry big-eyed mushrooms in every room of the house.

 5) Make myself presentable every day, even when I have a deadline. Try to convince people my pajamas are actually medical scrubs and I’m just back from a 36 hour shift.

 6) Read the classics. Watch Doctor Who while I fold laundry.

 7) Learn a new skill. Learn how to work the TV remote. (See resolution 6)

 8) Become best-selling author. Stop writing 400 page novels.

 Okay, that last one isn’t particularly funny, it just seems to be something I need to keep reminding myself. Because even though on the outset of the last four books I’ve written, I specifically told myself my book wasn’t going to go over 300 pages, I keep writing these mammoth stories that take way too long to write and revise.