One more reason to wish you were Barbie

Forget the fact that even at 50 Barbie looks great. Forget the dream house, convertible, and an endless supply of evening gowns (and apparently somewhere to wear them all). Even forget Ken, her always smiling, six-pack abs boyfriend.

This is why your really want to be the doll.


In case you can’t read the numbers. This is Parade’s issue of what people make. In between a math teacher who makes 66,000 and a public housing analyst who makes 65,000 Barbie makes 3.3 billion a year.

I noticed that Parade didn’t report on any writer’s salaries. That’s probably for the best. No need to disillusion people about our glamorous lives . . .

21 comments

  1. LucindaF
    July 7, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    And here I thought it was all about that perfect chest that amazingly never needs the aid of a bra. Now that is something to admire at the age of 50.

  2. Piglet de' Erin
    July 7, 2009 at 1:26 pm

    OH now come on! I know you must make millions.

    and Barbie, she’s a little too rigid for me.

  3. Danyelle
    July 7, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    *cries*

    What do you mean disillusion people? You do lead a glamorous life, don’t you? >.>

    While it would be nice to look perfect no matter what the day entailed, and have all those gorgeous gowns, remember that all of Barbie’s friends have to be purchased separately. :p

  4. Melony
    July 7, 2009 at 2:00 pm

    Plastic people rock! 🙂 But they have to buy boyfriends…

  5. Heather B. Moore
    July 7, 2009 at 3:22 pm

    Those writers’ salaries are really unmentionable.

  6. Janette Rallison
    July 7, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    Ha! I will console myself that at least I don’t have to buy my friends. And as far as glamour goes–I’m in workout pants and a t-shirt right now. Much more comfortable than heels and an evening gown, but still . . .

  7. Shari
    July 7, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    Dang. I knew I should have applied for the Barbie job.

  8. Carolyn V.
    July 7, 2009 at 6:59 pm

    Curse that Barbie! 50 and she still has the thighs of a pencil. I shake my fist at you, plastic one. *fist in air*

  9. Weston Elliott
    July 7, 2009 at 9:26 pm

    We can console ourselves that she still can’t bend her knees or her wrists!! Imagine trying to type when your fingers are all molded together.

  10. Janette Rallison
    July 8, 2009 at 10:03 am

    Which probably explains why Barbie writes so little. Of course she has so many other careers–vet, stewardess, Miss America, etc that she’s probably too busy to write anyway.

  11. Sarah M Eden
    July 8, 2009 at 10:07 am

    Imagine the picture that would have accompanied the words “Writer. $25.37/year” Weeping. Frustrated hair pulling. I’m thinking that’s why they didn’t include it.
    (And yes, an illustrative use of hyperbole.)

  12. The Golfing Librarian
    July 8, 2009 at 11:20 am

    Barbie co-wrote a book with some friends. Here’s a link to a seller.
    http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/B001CB7DGK/ref=dp_olp_new?ie=UTF8&qid=1247077090&sr=1-2&condition=new

    it was most likely dictated though. 🙂

  13. Kimberly
    July 8, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    I’m now contemplating a novel with the concept of writing from Barbie’s point of view. The difficulty maintaining that tan without melting…the fake friends…the lack of closet space…

    Could be fascinating…

  14. Janette Rallison
    July 8, 2009 at 6:23 pm

    So it turns out Barbie is an author too—I should have known as much. The doll has been and done everything. I went to Amazon to check out her book, just so, you know, I could feel extra bad if a plastic doll without bendable fingers beat me in ratings.

    You’ll be relieved to know her boxed set of books was at 3,080,629while My Fair Godmother (at the moment) is at 30,466.

    I will ignore the fact that this is most likely because the Barbie books are old and therefore out of print and enjoy beating Barbie out in one area.

    She may have been Miss America, and an astronaut, and soon to be Bella in a Twilight edition, but right now my numbers beat hers at Amazon.

  15. Anna Maria Junus
    July 10, 2009 at 1:33 am

    I can only console myself knowing that Barbie usually ends up naked and headless.

  16. Pepsi
    July 10, 2009 at 10:37 am

    And in my house, often with a very bad haircut as well.

  17. Effy
    July 10, 2009 at 11:07 am

    It would be kinda sad to be barbie though. What with her disproportionate body and all. We would all be crippled! No one would be able to walk. So what would we do with all our money and pretty dresses? We would need someone to get us dressed, just like Barbie does. And then we’d have someone controlling our lives! Just like Barbie.

  18. Janette Rallison
    July 10, 2009 at 8:03 pm

    Plus we’d all have to walk on our toes.

  19. Melony
    July 11, 2009 at 12:36 pm

    I’m not sure I enjoy her color scheme. That candy pink and purple, I’m so over that. You’ll also be happy to know that Barbie has been involved in at least one scandal. Back in 1998, I saw “Presidential Barbie” in a Blue dress and it was *GASP* unbuttoned like 3 buttons down, in an unopened BOX, at Toys R Us, no less! hmm, presidential w/ a blue dress, unbuttoned….where have I heard that scenario before?

  20. Janette Rallison
    July 11, 2009 at 6:06 pm

    I shouldn’t laugh at that, but somehow I still am.

  21. Jenn Wilks
    July 11, 2009 at 7:58 pm

    I’m just sitting here kind of dumbfounded that they would actually put Barbie on the list. She’s a /person/?!? Does she come alive when nobody’s looking or something?

    Hmmm.

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