One more reason to wish you were Barbie

Forget the fact that even at 50 Barbie looks great. Forget the dream house, convertible, and an endless supply of evening gowns (and apparently somewhere to wear them all). Even forget Ken, her always smiling, six-pack abs boyfriend.

This is why your really want to be the doll.

In case you can’t read the numbers. This is Parade’s issue of what people make. In between a math teacher who makes 66,000 and a public housing analyst who makes 65,000 Barbie makes 3.3 billion a year.

I noticed that Parade didn’t report on any writer’s salaries. That’s probably for the best. No need to disillusion people about our glamorous lives . . .


One more reason to wish you were Barbie — 21 Comments

  1. And here I thought it was all about that perfect chest that amazingly never needs the aid of a bra. Now that is something to admire at the age of 50.

  2. *cries*

    What do you mean disillusion people? You do lead a glamorous life, don’t you? >.>

    While it would be nice to look perfect no matter what the day entailed, and have all those gorgeous gowns, remember that all of Barbie’s friends have to be purchased separately. :p

  3. Ha! I will console myself that at least I don’t have to buy my friends. And as far as glamour goes–I’m in workout pants and a t-shirt right now. Much more comfortable than heels and an evening gown, but still . . .

  4. Imagine the picture that would have accompanied the words “Writer. $25.37/year” Weeping. Frustrated hair pulling. I’m thinking that’s why they didn’t include it.
    (And yes, an illustrative use of hyperbole.)

  5. I’m now contemplating a novel with the concept of writing from Barbie’s point of view. The difficulty maintaining that tan without melting…the fake friends…the lack of closet space…

    Could be fascinating…

  6. So it turns out Barbie is an author too—I should have known as much. The doll has been and done everything. I went to Amazon to check out her book, just so, you know, I could feel extra bad if a plastic doll without bendable fingers beat me in ratings.

    You’ll be relieved to know her boxed set of books was at 3,080,629while My Fair Godmother (at the moment) is at 30,466.

    I will ignore the fact that this is most likely because the Barbie books are old and therefore out of print and enjoy beating Barbie out in one area.

    She may have been Miss America, and an astronaut, and soon to be Bella in a Twilight edition, but right now my numbers beat hers at Amazon.

  7. It would be kinda sad to be barbie though. What with her disproportionate body and all. We would all be crippled! No one would be able to walk. So what would we do with all our money and pretty dresses? We would need someone to get us dressed, just like Barbie does. And then we’d have someone controlling our lives! Just like Barbie.

  8. I’m not sure I enjoy her color scheme. That candy pink and purple, I’m so over that. You’ll also be happy to know that Barbie has been involved in at least one scandal. Back in 1998, I saw “Presidential Barbie” in a Blue dress and it was *GASP* unbuttoned like 3 buttons down, in an unopened BOX, at Toys R Us, no less! hmm, presidential w/ a blue dress, unbuttoned….where have I heard that scenario before?

  9. I’m just sitting here kind of dumbfounded that they would actually put Barbie on the list. She’s a /person/?!? Does she come alive when nobody’s looking or something?


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