Rude commentary

You’re probably thinking I have something rude to say here, but that’s not the sort of rude I mean. As I once again prepare for the Enrique Worst Pick Up Lyrics in a Song awards, I’ve been pondering the song Rude by Magic. No, it doesn’t qualify for a nomination because the song is directed at the girl’s father, not the girl. And really, there’s nothing wrong with the lyrics. But when you put the lyrics with the video, ah, that’s a different story.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s a cute video. Darling really. Go ahead and watch it so my commentary makes sense.

I admit that the father is obviously in the wrong . Anyone with children knows that they don’t care if you give them their blessing or not, as evidenced by the fact that most of them feel no compunction telling you that every viewpoint you have is wrong. (And you also have no sense of humor, fashion, or direction. They will also laugh if they see you dancing.)

If your child wants to marry someone who is completely wrong for them, there is no talking them out of it. You might as well smile and hope for the best.

Still, I have an irksome need to defend the father in this video. Let’s examine why a loving father might have objections to marrying the guy in the video.

1)  You go to meet your perspective in-law in your best suit, and your best suit is a black leather jacket? I mean, if you’re trying to impress a girl’s conservative father, can’t you spring for a polo shirt? A haircut wouldn’t hurt, either.

2)  You’re going to marry said daughter while wearing a ski cap? Just a head’s up, your future children will openly mock your wedding pictures.

3)  You decide to hold this sacred, once in a life time event in a garage? Gee, I wonder why Dad didn’t want to attend. What Dad doesn’t want to give away his beloved daughter in an garage? Seriously, dude, wasn’t there a park around?

4) And lastly, in the words of the father from the movie My Father, the Hero “You can marry a musician, when all other men are dead.” So you know, there’s that objection too.

Just my thoughts should any band members from Magic wish to court my daughters.