Songs You Hate to Love

There are some songs that I’m embarrassed that I like. Since I only infrequently shy away from embarrassing myself on this blog, I will come right out and tell you. Yes, I like Lady Gaga’s Poker Face. I’m not going to buy it, mind you. I still have some pride and I make it a policy not to buy music from people who consider themselves royalty. (No Prince songs. No Queen Latifah.) Plus I can’t buy songs that have painfully stupid music videos. One day, I swear, I’m going to start my own blog just mocking bad music videos. It will be called, The Lighting Guys Might Have Told You that You Looked Great, But They laughed Themselves Silly While You Were In Wardrobe Changing Out Of Your Spandex Mini Skirt And The Shirt That Looked Like It Was Made of Mouse Pads And Held Together With Packaging Tape.

Poker Face fails both the royalty and bad music video tests, so I just have to listen to the song on youtube with the window minimized and hope that my love of the song will run its course like that unfortunate infatuation I had with Britney Spear’s Womanizer. (Although come to think about it, I still shout out: You say I’m crazy? I got your crazy! every once in awhile.)

But even though I minimize, I’ve still gotten bits and pieces of the Poker Face video. And here is my question. Who brought Lady Gaga a swimsuit with shoulder pads and gloves and said, “This will look great!” Because that person should have to wear Bjork’s swan dress for a solid week just for penance.

Anyway, as I was watching the swimsuit, and going: Wow, it looks like part of someone’s tick-tac-toe game came to life, I thought to myself, “Haven’t I seen that outfit before?” I was pretty sure Lady Gaga was just recycling through old Star Trek costumes. So I googled Star Trek Women. (And yes, this is the sort of thing I do when I really should be working on my novel.) I found this:

Actually, it looks better than Lady Gaga’s swimsuit.
While I googled, I also found these Star Trek inspirational photos and laughed so hard I had to post them. Those of you in my generation will understand.


  1. Jackee
    December 3, 2009 at 9:42 am


  2. Anonymous
    December 3, 2009 at 9:53 am

    My sides are aching. snort, cough, giggle.
    Margaret Turley

  3. Stacey
    December 3, 2009 at 10:01 am

    Janette I have some solutions for you!

    You can make your own playlist at and listen to it online…no videos!

    Even better is where you not only put in stuff you like but it plays songs that are similar so you can find lots of good music you wouldn’t otherwise find. If you don’t like it just click the button and it logs that too when it makes its decisions on what to play.

    But um yeah…I don’t get the shoulder pad thing. It didn’t look good in the 80s, it doesn’t look good now!

  4. Kaylie
    December 3, 2009 at 10:08 am

    If you like to make fun of bad music videos and you want to procrastinate more, check out the literal version of Total Eclipse of the Heart.'s hilarious!

  5. Kami
    December 3, 2009 at 10:25 am

    I laughed the hardest at the “guess who’s not coming back” quote. I love those Demotivator parodies! And I agree wholeheartedly on the whole “Lady Gaga” business. Kind of a catchy song, but what the???

    By the way, Devon Felsted says hi!

  6. Karlene
    December 3, 2009 at 10:25 am

    Funny! Add to your song list, Love Shack and what was that one pop song about the guy liking his friend’s mom? Hate the message but can’t help dancing along with it.

  7. Valerie Ipson
    December 3, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    Thanks for the laugh!

  8. Bethany Wiggins
    December 3, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    Your blog is as hilarious as your books! I am so glad I found it. Thanks for a good chortle.

  9. Janette Rallison
    December 3, 2009 at 1:37 pm

    Stacey–thanks for the playlist and pandora info. I think I’ve found a new way to distract myself from writing!

    And speaking of Stacey–the song that Karlene is talking about is: Stacey’s Mom Has Got It Going On–which also made it to my I like but won’t buy list.

  10. Janette Rallison
    December 3, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    Ha–I just watched that literal Total Eclipse of Heart video. Too funny! Anyone who ever watched the original in the 80’s and went: What? Creepy! needs to see the parady.

    (okay, now I’ve procrastinated enough.)

  11. Carolyn V.
    December 3, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    Oh Star Trek and Lady Gaga. Perfect couple. hee hee.

  12. Kami
    December 4, 2009 at 10:17 am

    The funniest “Literal” version of a video I’ve ever seen is A-Ha’s Take on me. You can view it here:

  13. Stacey
    December 4, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    Ha ha! I have seen the literal video before. So so funny!

    It started out as Hogwarts now it’s Lord of the Flies!

    Spin around Ninjas!

    I pose like Rocky tonight!

    And other such unforgettable lines!

  14. Stacey
    December 4, 2009 at 1:03 pm

    Oh and the Stacey’s mom song just makes me cringe…cause I love my mom, but um…yeah…

  15. Tina Lynn
    December 4, 2009 at 5:53 pm

    It cracks me up that you thought to google Star Trek women. I think I must be missing a chromosome.

  16. Celise
    December 8, 2009 at 9:54 pm

    LOL. Oh God, those are fab. I checked out My Fair Godmother and Just One Wish from the library. They’re in my TBR pile. I have a feeling I’ll be renewing these. Lady Gaga is weird, but I do like that song “Paparazzi.” And how’s this for guilty pleasure: My hubby knows the song “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus. Noddin’ my head like yeah…

  17. Nancy Campbell Allen
    December 9, 2009 at 6:45 pm

    Janette, those pictures are awesome. Can I steal that first one for my blog? I’ll even tell people I stole it from you. 🙂

    Also love the Stacey’s Mom song, and Poker Face. I also like several Foreigner songs, and I can’t believe I just admitted it in public.

  18. Jak
    December 13, 2009 at 10:12 pm

    Lady Gaga is the weirdest person ever.

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