The Revenge of the Bow-tied One

I suppose it served me right that after all of the stories I’ve told about my editor, that he told one about me to a large group of people, but yeah, he got me back. We were both just up at the LDStorymakers conference where he told all of the atendees that I was a woman of questionable moral values. Really.

To quote myself from Revenge of the Cheerleaders, “Some people should not be allowed access to a microphone.”

Okay, so the bow-tied one actually just told people that I’d run off without paying for a parking spot, which may have been inadvertantly true, but still.

It all started when I picked him up from the airport and he insisted that I take him to dinner at pub. I, of course, had never been to a pub before because they are clearly dens of iniquity. Addmitedly, this one had the best taco salad I’ve ever eaten and I’m going to have to go back there the next time I’m in Salt Lake, but that is not the point. The point is that it is a slippery slope to a life of crime and I can blame it all on Tim for insisting I go to the pub in the first place.

The parking outside of the pub was full but there was a parking lot next door. It had one of those booths were somebody gives you a ticket and takes your money, but there was no one inside because by that time it was after 9:30 at night.

Where I live in Arizona, if they have one of those booths but it is after business hours, parking is free. (Actually, where I live there isn’t much parking that you have to pay for.) Even when you go to the games at the Cardinal stadium, the ticket taker leaves at 10:00 p.m. and if you leave the garage after that, there’s no one to take your ticket and it’s free. I mean, you’re not expected to shove bills under the booth’s door or anything.

So I was not particularly concerned about parking there but as we were pulling out, Tim said to me, “Aren’t you going to pay for your parking?” and he pointed to something that looked like a post office box.

I had no idea what he was talking about, but just to humor him I agreed to put five dollars in it. (No sweat off my back, the Storymakers were paying for dinner.) Unfortunately there was a car behind us and I didn’t want to make it wait for us so I decided to drive out onto the street and then pull over. I did that, but almost immediately the traffic picked up and I didn’t want to get rearended because I was in my parents very expensive car and I figured that the drivers outside of a pub might not have the wherewithall to notice that I’d stopped. So then I told Tim that we’d have to go down the street and do a u-turn and he told me to forget about it and just drive to the hotel.

Really, I thought he was wrong about the whole post office box looking thing being a recepticle to put money in for your parking, but when I told this story to people at conference, they all nodded knowingly and seemed to know exactly what it was.

So yes, after last conference where Bill Gardner uncovered my unwitting illegal activity that happened in our home town when I was a teenager, I’m afraid I’m going to get quite a reputation for being some sort of thug.

And it all comes from going to a pub. Let that be a lesson to all of you impressionable people out there.

Here are some other cool people from the conference. This is me with Marsha Ward, Candace Salima, and my dear cousin-in-law Shirley Bahlmann.

More cool people: Julie Wright and Tammy Norton

And here I am with James Dashner–proof that guys can be cool writers too.

One more thing–the website for BYU’s week long, writers’ conference is finally up! (Although I swear I gave them an updated picture of me. Honest.)I’ll be there teaching June 16-21. You can check it out at: http://ce.byu.edu/cw/writing/

And don’t worry, I happen to know for a fact that you’re clear to park in the student parking lot after 4:00. It says so on the signs. (They are ever so much nicer than certain pubs I frequent.)