The Revenge of the Bow-tied One

I suppose it served me right that after all of the stories I’ve told about my editor, that he told one about me to a large group of people, but yeah, he got me back. We were both just up at the LDStorymakers conference where he told all of the atendees that I was a woman of questionable moral values. Really.

To quote myself from Revenge of the Cheerleaders, “Some people should not be allowed access to a microphone.”

Okay, so the bow-tied one actually just told people that I’d run off without paying for a parking spot, which may have been inadvertantly true, but still.

It all started when I picked him up from the airport and he insisted that I take him to dinner at pub. I, of course, had never been to a pub before because they are clearly dens of iniquity. Addmitedly, this one had the best taco salad I’ve ever eaten and I’m going to have to go back there the next time I’m in Salt Lake, but that is not the point. The point is that it is a slippery slope to a life of crime and I can blame it all on Tim for insisting I go to the pub in the first place.

The parking outside of the pub was full but there was a parking lot next door. It had one of those booths were somebody gives you a ticket and takes your money, but there was no one inside because by that time it was after 9:30 at night.

Where I live in Arizona, if they have one of those booths but it is after business hours, parking is free. (Actually, where I live there isn’t much parking that you have to pay for.) Even when you go to the games at the Cardinal stadium, the ticket taker leaves at 10:00 p.m. and if you leave the garage after that, there’s no one to take your ticket and it’s free. I mean, you’re not expected to shove bills under the booth’s door or anything.

So I was not particularly concerned about parking there but as we were pulling out, Tim said to me, “Aren’t you going to pay for your parking?” and he pointed to something that looked like a post office box.

I had no idea what he was talking about, but just to humor him I agreed to put five dollars in it. (No sweat off my back, the Storymakers were paying for dinner.) Unfortunately there was a car behind us and I didn’t want to make it wait for us so I decided to drive out onto the street and then pull over. I did that, but almost immediately the traffic picked up and I didn’t want to get rearended because I was in my parents very expensive car and I figured that the drivers outside of a pub might not have the wherewithall to notice that I’d stopped. So then I told Tim that we’d have to go down the street and do a u-turn and he told me to forget about it and just drive to the hotel.

Really, I thought he was wrong about the whole post office box looking thing being a recepticle to put money in for your parking, but when I told this story to people at conference, they all nodded knowingly and seemed to know exactly what it was.

So yes, after last conference where Bill Gardner uncovered my unwitting illegal activity that happened in our home town when I was a teenager, I’m afraid I’m going to get quite a reputation for being some sort of thug.

And it all comes from going to a pub. Let that be a lesson to all of you impressionable people out there.

Here are some other cool people from the conference. This is me with Marsha Ward, Candace Salima, and my dear cousin-in-law Shirley Bahlmann.
More cool people: Julie Wright and Tammy Norton
And here I am with James Dashner–proof that guys can be cool writers too.

One more thing–the website for BYU’s week long, writers’ conference is finally up! (Although I swear I gave them an updated picture of me. Honest.)I’ll be there teaching June 16-21. You can check it out at:

And don’t worry, I happen to know for a fact that you’re clear to park in the student parking lot after 4:00. It says so on the signs. (They are ever so much nicer than certain pubs I frequent.)


  1. Melinda
    April 3, 2008 at 7:52 am

    That is why I personally never go to pubs. -no good can come from that except taco salad. (Hm. Can I join you next time? Don’t tell anyone.)

    I signed up for your class at BYU and am very much looking forward to it!

    LDS Storymakers was a great time. Particularly when you told Shannon Hale that you weren’t going to hell. -my personal favorite line of the night. That and James and Jeff presenting. Fannel board story -so funny!

  2. Janette Rallison
    April 3, 2008 at 9:39 am

    That flannel board presentation stole the night, in my opinion. I don’t know when I’ve laughed so hard.

  3. Annette Lyon
    April 3, 2008 at 11:29 am

    I’m so glad we got you AND the bow-tied one at the conference–double the pleasure!

    One of these years I’ll take out my camera and prove that we were both present. I have yet to get a picture with you!

  4. Janette Rallison
    April 3, 2008 at 12:31 pm

    I just realized that you’re right–we must remedy that next time we’re together so that future biographers will know that we were friends!

  5. Marsha Ward
    April 3, 2008 at 2:36 pm

    Janette, I know what scandalous object we can leave hanging around in the hotel room next year–a napkin from a pub!

  6. Lillian Syville
    April 3, 2008 at 7:03 pm

    You’d think that in Salt Lake City, were every store sells CTR rings and Book of Mormans and Every store is closed on Sunday, that there wouldn’t even be Pubs

  7. Julie Wright
    April 4, 2008 at 7:21 am

    Ah the fine threads of iniquity, one pulling into another until we’re trapped in a rug of our own weaving. Don’t worry about not paying for parking. It was the least this parking lot could do to have such a celebrity in their midst.

  8. golfinglibrarian
    April 4, 2008 at 8:16 am

    Skipping out on parking! Tsk! Tsk!
    The pedestal just became a footstool. Everyone is entitled to their first mistake, so I promise not to have any book burnings at the house!

  9. Candace E. Salima
    April 6, 2008 at 6:37 am

    It was such a blast seeing you at the conference. The bow-tied one was great, very funny. And questionable moral character? Nah.

    Jeff’s flannel board presentation was hysterical and I loved it.

  10. Jennie
    April 8, 2008 at 6:50 pm

    Janette, I wish we’d had more time to spend together the night of the Whitneys. It was so good to see you again and I’m delighted with your publishing success.

  11. Lillian Syville
    April 9, 2008 at 8:20 pm
  12. Josi
    April 10, 2008 at 7:14 am

    I just looked up the number for your bishop, I’m sure that even entering a Pub is grounds for something, not to mention ripping off the parking attendant. Pub’s don’t make $$ off non-drinkers, but the parking…tsk tsk my dear 🙂

  13. Rachelle
    April 12, 2008 at 4:08 pm

    I loved that story, it was so funny. It was great to see you at the conf. and I think that your editor sounds kind of like Michael J. Fox when he talks, he gave some great tips!

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