I have to say that some people use some pretty unimaginative excuses for getting out of jury duty. Things like, “I can’t speak English.” And “It would create a financial hardship.” And “I’m a police officer.” Come on, people. It’s not like you’re ever going to see the judge again. (At least we can hope not, because hey, wouldn’t that be ironic?) So here’s a list of reasons with a bit more imagination.
1) I have a very important World or Warcraft quest to finish and my guild is depending on me.
2) I committed a felony, I just wasn’t caught.
3) I’m psychic and so I already know the outcome of the trial.
4) Pick me! Pick me!
5) Yes, I know the defendant, and the prosecutor, and the bailiff. I know ALL of you!
6) My entourage needs me.
7) Can you repeat that, Judge? I’m twittering the whole thing.
8) Can I be impartial? As long as impartial means any fool can see the man is guilty.
9) I’m a writer. By nature we’re shiftless, unreliable, and we make stuff up for a living.
10) This man is clearly a baby eater! And i will see that he is punished for his crimes.