Shakira was right, the hips don’t lie.

And unfortunately lately they’ve been telling me that they don’t fit into my jeans anymore. Probably because I’ve had an indulgent summer with conferences and retreats where chocolate always floated around within arm’s reach.

So last week I decided to turn over a new leaf. (A lettuce leaf, if you want to be exact.) I and my family were going to eat more vegetables. Along with the other groceries, last Saturday I bought a squash, two heads of celery, two heads of lettuce, two heads of cauliflower, asparagus, cabbage, and tomatoes.

I am all about good intentions.

By the end of the week we’d managed to eat the squash and some of the lettuce and tomatoes. But I was not going to waste the stuff. I wasn’t going to let it wilt in my refrigerator. So on Friday for dinner we had cauliflower, asparagus, and a salad.
My children came to the table with a marked lack of enthusiasm. “What’s for dinner?” younger son asked.

“This,” I said waving my hand over three bowls of vegetables.

“These are side dishes,” middle daughter said. “You’re not supposed to have them as the main course.”

“Well, tonight we are,” I said.

Oldest son headed to the refrigerator, trying to circumvent my meal. “Get over here,” I told him. “You’re eating healthy tonight.”

“I’m not hungry,” he said, going into the family room.

“Sit anyway.” While I went and tried to pry him off the couch, little sister sat down and ate all of the hard boiled eggs from the salad.

“No fair!” younger son yelled pointing at his sister. “She took the only real food!”

Middle sister picked the melted cheese off of the cauliflower and then pronounced that she only liked the cauliflower stems.

Younger son went into a litany of his sufferings. “No white bread or sugar cereal, and now this. Do you know what my friends at school said when I told them we only had basic cable? They said, ‘Well, what about the TV in your bedroom?’” He then glared at me because he doesn’t have a TV in his room.

At the end of dinner, we had lots of leftovers and the children probably all had cold cereal as soon as I left to go exercise.

But all of my hard work did pay off. The next day middle daughter came up to me and loving told me that I was very skinny. “You don’t need to buy more vegetables,”
she added.

Well, that’s probably the fastest diet in history.

No matter, this week I bought artichoke hearts, tomatoes, celery, avocados, lettuce, spinach, onions, potatoes, and a few other things that I’m not sure what actually are—but they look healthy. They still have dirt clinging to them and what not. We will eat veggies throughout the week, and if not, we’ll eat them all on Friday.


Shakira was right, the hips don’t lie. — 23 Comments

  1. So awesome! I love that response when I make a dinner that *gasp* has no meat – But, Mom, what’s for dinner?

    A cold cereal chaser never hurt anyone, right?

    (dont’ tell my kids there’s no meat in cold cereal, either)

  2. hahahahahahaha. Oh, I’m sad to have missed this (well, not really. I like having meat with my meals.)

    You should try buying fresh green beans and then sauteing them in butter and a yummy dressing. They are delicious that way.

  3. I wish my hips were lying. Stupid tight pants that HAD to have shrunk in the dryer. It has nothing to do with blizzards from Dairy Queen. Stupid yummy blizzards.

    My refrigerotter has many times been the dying place for well intended vegetables.

  4. my kids are small, so luckily, when my diet changes, so does theirs. (And dad’s not around to complain about it right now, since he decided to join the Army!)

    I decided to revert back to the way we did it on the mission: Lunch is the big meal. Dinner is the small meal.

    I’m a small person, but I had that stubborn four pounds that refused to budge. Last week I lost two of them. I’m going to fully attribute it to changing our eating habits b/c I did nothing else different!

    I’m so horrified that children think having a tv in the room is a right!!!

  5. Aw dang. Is that the story of my life or what. I have decided that Writing is a dangerous hobby . . . at least to my waist line. Sigh. One day I’ll look like I used to.

    I think your veggie idea is great, but holy cow, your poor kids only getting basic cable?!? That’s almost archaic.

    ha ha snort.

  6. I’ve chosen the path of least resistance at my house. I don’t make my son eat what I cook, but I also won’t make him anything else to eat. He’s the master of making his own bean and cheese burrito now. I figure protein, dairy, whole grain tortilla? I can live with it.

  7. Let us know how long it takes for them to get used to the change. Mine never have. But I’m a weakling and give in too easily, thus creating a roller-coaster eating curve that keeps my hips deliciously curvy.

  8. I love it! I just went a month without dessert and it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.

    The key to getting veggies in them is to find veggie recipes they like. My kids won’t eat tomatoes and onions, but they inhale fresh salsa. Main ingredients? Tomato and onion. 🙂

  9. I highly recommend the book Deceptively Delicious. Yup. It’s possible to TRICK your family into being healthy. Of course, I haven’t tried any of the recipes, but it was a great read!

  10. I tell people (and myself) I am a size 4. That happens to be my shoe size, but they don’t need to know that. The hips don’t lie, and neither do I. It’s all about selective information, Janette!

  11. janette i think you’ve been spying on my life.

    tell your son that he’s lucky to even have cable.

    one t.v. ten channels.
    we’re practically cavemen

    it took me ten years to convince my mom the honey nut cheerios were NOT sugar cereal. just cause not all of us like her shredded newspaper…

  12. I just had that discussion with my kids this morning! I told them this is the last of the sugar cereal, and tonight we start with the healthy stuff: fresh fruits and vegetables, lean meats, and whole grains. We’ll see how that goes…

    ..and I love the ideas for the veggie bin labels! lol

  13. ive read all you’re book and i love all and it seems theres always a Samantha in them do you have a daughter named Samantha and if so awesome cause that’s also my name

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